Postpartum Anxiety: Understanding Symptoms and Finding Help
If you're a new parent lying awake at 3am with your heart racing, worrying about whether your baby is breathing correctly, whether you're doing everything right, or if something terrible is going to happen—I want you to know that you're not alone. What you're experiencing might be postpartum anxiety, and it's more common than you might think.
While many people have heard of postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety often flies under the radar. However, many new parents experience clinical levels of anxiety after bringing a baby home. And here's what I want you to hear: postpartum anxiety is treatable, and it does not mean that something is wrong with you.
What Is Postpartum Anxiety?
Postpartum anxiety typically shows up within the first few weeks to months after having a baby, though it can develop anytime during that first year. It's different from the "baby blues" that many new parents experience in those first couple of weeks. The baby blues are temporary and usually resolve on their own. Mothers who have the baby blues also predominantly experience sadness, while postpartum anxiety is experienced as frequent fear and worry, and symptoms can last for several months or longer if not treated.
Think about what your body and mind have just been through. You've experienced dramatic hormonal shifts, you're probably not sleeping much at all, and your entire life has been turned upside down in the most profound way possible. It makes sense that anxiety might show up during this time, even if you've never struggled with anxiety before.
What Postpartum Anxiety Actually Feels Like
Postpartum anxiety can look different for different people, but here are some of the ways it commonly shows up:
You might notice physical symptoms like your heart racing for no clear reason, feeling short of breath, chest tightness, dizziness, or nausea. Many parents tell me they feel like they're constantly "on edge" and can't relax even when they have the chance. Ironically, you might find yourself unable to sleep even when your baby is finally sleeping, because your mind won't stop racing.
The mental and emotional experience often involves worry that feels hard to control. You might find yourself constantly thinking about whether your baby is healthy and safe, having intrusive thoughts about something bad happening, struggling to make decisions or concentrate, feeling irritable or easily overwhelmed, or living with a persistent sense that something terrible is about to happen. Anxiety about something bad happening to you or your baby is especially common if you’ve had a traumatic experience in your past or a traumatic childbirth.
Behaviorally, you might notice yourself checking on the baby constantly, having a really hard time leaving your baby with anyone (even people you trust completely), avoiding certain situations because they make you anxious, or repeatedly seeking reassurance from your pediatrician, partner, or other parents.
Some people also experience panic attacks—sudden episodes of intense fear that come with physical symptoms like heart palpitations, sweating, trembling, and a feeling like you're losing control.
How Is This Different from Postpartum Depression?
Postpartum depression typically involves persistent sadness, losing interest in things you used to enjoy, feelings of worthlessness, changes in appetite, and sometimes thoughts of death or dying. Postpartum anxiety is more about excessive worry, fear, and that constant state of tension. That said, these conditions can overlap, and you might experience symptoms of both.
How Is This Different from Postpartum OCD?
Postpartum OCD is another condition that often gets confused with postpartum anxiety, and honestly, they can look pretty similar on the surface. Both involve intrusive thoughts and a lot of worry. But there are some key differences.
With postpartum OCD, you typically have obsessions—unwanted, intrusive thoughts that are often disturbing or scary (like thoughts about accidentally harming your baby)—and then you develop compulsions or rituals to try to prevent these feared outcomes or reduce the anxiety. These compulsions might include repeatedly checking on the baby, arranging things in a specific way, excessive cleaning, or asking for reassurance over and over again.
The key difference is that with postpartum anxiety, the worry tends to be more generalized and about things that could realistically happen (even if the level of worry is disproportionate). With postpartum OCD, the intrusive thoughts often feel really "foreign" to you—they're thoughts you find horrifying and that go completely against who you are as a person. And the compulsive behaviors in OCD are done to try to neutralize or prevent the feared outcome, rather than just stemming from general worry.
Both postpartum anxiety and postpartum OCD respond well to treatment, particularly with a therapist who understands perinatal mental health.
What Causes Postpartum Anxiety?
There are some factors that can make postpartum anxiety more likely. These include having a history of anxiety or depression (either personally or in your family), previous trauma or a difficult birth experience, having limited support, dealing with other stressful life circumstances, severe sleep deprivation, or having perfectionist tendencies or really high expectations of yourself as a parent.
However, it’s also important to know that postpartum anxiety can affect anyone. Even if none of these risk factors apply to you, you may still develop postpartum anxiety.
When Should You Reach Out for Help?
It's completely normal to worry about your baby. In fact, some level of concern is part of being a protective, caring parent. But if your anxiety feels persistent and out of control, if it's interfering with your daily life, if it's preventing you from sleeping even when you have the opportunity, or if it's making it hard to take care of yourself or your baby—these are signs that it's time to get some professional support.
What Actually Helps
The good news is that postpartum anxiety is very treatable. Here's what can help:
For many clients, therapy is a good place to start for treating postpartum anxiety. Specifically, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) has strong research backing it for treating anxiety disorders, including postpartum anxiety. It can help you identify the anxious thought patterns that are keeping you stuck, develop practical coping strategies, and gradually face the situations you've been avoiding. Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), which involves mindfulness and a focus on engaging in actions that are meaningful to you, can also help.
Medication can be an important part of treatment for some people. Your healthcare provider can walk you through the options and help you make the best decision for your situation.
Support groups and getting support from loved ones can be incredibly powerful. Sometimes just being in a room (or on a video call) with other parents who really get what you're going through can help you feel less alone and less like something is wrong with you.
There are also some lifestyle adjustments that can support your recovery. This includes prioritizing sleep whenever possible (I know, easier said than done with a newborn), getting some gentle movement or exercise when you can, practicing relaxation techniques like deep breathing, being mindful about caffeine intake, and accepting help when people offer it.
What I Want You to Remember
Recovery from postpartum anxiety takes time, and it's not always a straight line. There will be good days and harder days. Be as patient and compassionate with yourself as you would be with your best friend going through the same thing.
Seeking help is not a sign of weakness. It's actually one of the most loving things you can do, both for yourself and for your baby. When you take care of your mental health, you're in a better position to care for and connect with your child.
If you're reading this and recognizing yourself in these symptoms, please don't suffer in silence. Start by talking to your OB-GYN, midwife, or primary care provider. You can also reach out to a therapist who specializes in perinatal mental health. Many therapists (including myself) offer telehealth options, which can make it much easier to get care while you're managing the demands of having a newborn at home.
You are not alone in this. And with the right support, you can move through this challenging time and fully experience the joy of being a parent.
